Wednesday, December 28, 2011

Man-Shop


I’m going to admit something horrible.  I am embarrassed of my husband.  It’s not his fault, really.  He’s actually quite wonderful.  What embarrasses me is that I picked him.  All six foot two of him.  Broad shoulders and British accent to boot.  His swoon-worthy charm and subtle gentlemanliness makes women feel flattered, never perved, and men feel included, never over-shadowed.  I really overshot the mark. 
You see, my whole life, I have been a bargain shopper.  I love digging right down to the bottom of the bin and finding the bits that have been overlooked by the other customers.  In much the same way that I rock a pair of grenadine-colored wide-leg corduroys, I can totally pull off an overweight genius-slacker.  Artistic short guy with a Napoleon complex?  I think I’ve still got one of those in the back of my wardrobe.  Sexy foreign serial cheater?  I do believe I had a matched set at one time. I suppose I thought it made me interesting to demonstrate that I had an eye for a diamond in the rough.  But, most of these guys turned out to be jerks rather than gems.  Relationships were a lot of hard work.  I was on a bit of a break from tromping the outlets when I discovered what life really had in store. 
My husband, Big Daddy, is the kind of goods you see in the window of Bergdorf Goodman: Top of the line.  Even though I wasn’t in the market to buy, I thought I’d try him on.  It’s no surprise he fit like a dream and made me look great.  With him, I appear younger and more expensive.  No wonder I had to have him.  The shocker was the cost: I got him for a song. “Georgia On My Mind,” to be precise.  He says it was the night that I sang that one in the Dining Room of the Silversea Cruises Silver Shadow, that he got the idea that I was interesting.  So, at least he thinks so… even if I look like a sell-out to the rest of the world.  I hope no self-respecting flea-market fashionista would truly blame me for taking home such a prize. 
Now that I think of it, he did turn out to be a “Buy One Get One Free,” sort of a deal.  I bought the husband.  I had no idea he would be such a great father.  Gotta love scoring a “Two-fer!”

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