Today’s goals include buying doors. What does one wear to visit the Doors and Entryways section at the local Lowe’s? I find that blue jeans are a must. Not black jeans. We are not a rock star. Not today. We are a door buyin’, regular gal. Ponytail? Check. 2-3 strands of hair pulled free, just to give the effect that I have been exerting myself? Check. (Three is better. Three is an odd number. Looks less balanced.) I am ready to do what I do best: get some unwitting customer service person to give me a discount I don’t deserve.
If you check out Lowes.com and sign up for their New Mover’s program, you can get a limited time coupon for 10% off any purchase of up to $5,000.00. You don’t even really have to be moving! I’m not. What I am doing is “sticking it to The Man.”
I love the people at Lowe’s; the service personnel and the customers. I’ve never seen anyone throw a fit in Lowe’s. There is no gloppy paint job, mismatched tile project, or unfinished water feature that can’t be fixed. Fixing things is what these people do. I find myself flirting shamelessly with the fat old guy in overalls in the doorknob section. I want this doorknob. It is shiny gold, and I prefer it to be battered bronze, but they don’t make it in battered bronze. He hands me a can of battered bronze spray paint. It’s “gonna give me that rustic look I’m going for.” He gets me.
At the end of the day, I got my doors AND my ill-gotten 10% off. I peppered my conversation with the door installation salesman with, “since we just moved in,” and “boxes everywhere.” He didn’t suspect a thing. When our time ended, he told me Melvin would take care of me from now on.
Melvin called just like he said he would. Like two teen-agers, we have spoken three times in three days. He said he might have to cut some of the molding around my frame. I am scared, but I trust him. Communication is the key in this relationship. Melvin gets me.
Big Daddy has listened patiently to the Harry Potter-length “Saga of the Doors” for weeks now. He gives an opinion when I really want one, and defers to me when I really need it. He will come home from work next Thursday and make a big deal over the doors, while I beam in the middle of the living room: “Look what I did! And I saved 10%!!” He will tell me that he appreciates all I do to make our house beautiful while I sigh with satisfaction. This man totally gets me!
